You have to get past 'winning vs. losing', that has no place in this. We need to remove that from our brains.
We don't train for the bar room brawl, we don't train to win monkey dances. That isn't survival, that is ego games and jockeying for position.
We train for that which you cannot deescalate, the ambush, the nightmare. we train to go home, or to be the one to act so others can go home, if that's what it takes.
You want fighting, you want ego games, there are people that will feed you that by the gallon. We need to be realistic, look at the variables, the possibilities. Look at the worst cases, and adjust our training accordingly. Train our scenarios realistically, see our weaknesses, and work the chances. It is always a case of an ever shrinking list of options the longer we stay engaged, so we train to do what we can as quick as we can, hit & run, guerrilla survival. Beslan, Westgate Mall, riots, that is our worst case scenarios. Kidnapping, cross fire, and civil unrest, not chest bumping personality games.
So, we need a bigger outlook, a larger skill set. Do more with less, but to be prepared. E&E, trauma care, escape from illegal restraint, weapons, and as a last resort, empty hands.